1. Who the actual hell is this?

According to Disney, his real name is Prince Adam. But that makes no damned sense, because you don’t just forget the heir to the throne because he’s cursed. So if Beast is a royal, where the hell are the king and queen? Are French monarchs just like, “Screw it. We’ll make more kids and we have plenty of castles to live in — just leave him”?

2. Who punishes an 11-year-old for not letting a stranger in the house?

Think about it. The plot says they’ve been cursed for 10 years. And the ticking time bomb of a rose will only bloom until Prince Adam turns 21. So he was only a preteen when the “good fairy” came knocking on his door in the middle of the night disguised as the creepiest old witch ever then cursed him for life for obeying the rules of stranger danger and telling her to get lost. The good fairy is the true villain here.

3. Why did Belle even open the door here?

She hates Gaston, she’s home alone, she knows he’s trying to get into her pants. A lot of angst, sexual harassment, and muddy books could’ve been avoided if she’d just pretended to be taking a nap.

4. Who are the faceless bastards in the background?

When Prince Adam was cursed for listening to the basic rules of being home without your parents, all the servants were punished too by being turned into inanimate objects. But who are the plates and forks with no faces? Did all the inanimate objects become partially self-aware? You better hope so, or there are some horrifying implications about those wine bottles.

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