1. When you’re trying to count how long it’s actually been since you had sex:



2. And you realise it’s been a couple of weeks:



3. Or worse, a couple of months:



4. When you don’t even know how long it’s been anymore:



5. When you can hear your housemates having sex:



6. Or you’ve got to listen to your friends bragging about their sex life:



7. And the same friends ask you about your sex life knowing you’re going through a dry patch:



8. When you get to the point where you can’t even remember what sex is anymore:



9. When you’ve been masturbating too much:



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