The Little Mermaid was my obsession when I was a kid. I forced my mother and sisters to watch it with me every single day of 1990. Eventually, I grew bored of it. Haven’t thought about it for probably two decades…
But I recently re-watched “Kiss The Girl” and it’s weird and I need to talk about it.
It all starts with Sebastian. Even though he basically helped raise Ariel, he takes the role of wing-man for possible sea pirate Prince Eric. It’s uncomfortably sensual for a crab.
Sebastian giving the “I like to watch” vibe is truly horrifying.
He leads a turtle massage parlor as "percussion" to set the mood. Oooooookay.
At least the turtles seem happy about it.
Also, Ariel is LITERALLY a girl. She's sixteen years old and thinks she's found true love with a stranger.