1. Let's start with what mermaids eat. They're vegetarians, right? And fish eat algae? Does Ariel just slurp slime off of rocks?


2. If Ariel has a belly button, it means she was a live birth. Explain that, Disney. Explain mermaid birth. Where do mermaid babies come from?


3. Fish lay eggs, so it makes more sense that mermaids lay eggs. Did Ariel hatch from an egg?


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4. If mermaids do indeed lay eggs, does that mean humans eat mermaid eggs like caviar? Probably! Humans are awful!


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5. Maybe it's like seahorses, where the male carries the babies? Did King Triton give birth to Ariel out of his butt? I'm not a scientist, don't correct me in the comments.


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6. Speaking of Triton, he's got some MEATY nips. That means lady merms have nipples too, yeah? Does that mean mermaids breastfeed their kids?


7. If Ariel has a fish body, does that mean she has really long poops like a goldfish?


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